Painted on my heart
by calabria
Summary: You were the most important person in my life,you were supposed to be my best friend...you were supposed to always be there for me,you were...and then i felt it..his soft lips on mine...
1. Chapter 1

Ok PEOPLE... Listen up..

I thought of trying something new so read and tell me what you think... But you guys should really try listening to the playlist suggestions to get in the mood 'cause they're really cool songs and really fit the situations =)

Play list Suggestion: Creator - Santogold

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_**Got no need for the fancy things  
All the attention that it brings  
Tell me no, I say yes, I was chosen  
And I will deliver the explosion**_

Can't say it's gonna get me far  
Do no good to say what you are  
I run the streets and I break up houses  
River runs deep and the flame devours it

Me, I'm a Creator  
Thrill is to make it up  
The rules I break got me a place  
Up on the radar  
Me, I'm a Taker  
Know what the stakes are  
Can't roll it back, it's understood  
Got to play our cards

_Oh fuck it!!! _I thought jerking the headphones of my ipod out of my ears angrily…

I Kaylan Jade Matthews have just realized what a stupid, idiotic, mistake I did by deciding to come back to Ipswich... What the hell was I thinking??! I must have been drunk or something!! Unfortunately, I can't do anything to correct that mistake now 'cause I'm on a plane on the way there. On second thought, maybe if I parachute from the freakin' plane. No, it will probably lead to me breaking my neck and dieing!!

_Not good!!_

My stupid cousin Caleb called 2 weeks ago telling me that his dad, my uncle, died and that he would appreciate it if I came to spend some time with him and my aunt Evelyn and because I love my cousin and aunt too much for my own good, I decided to go against my better judgment and agreed to go back to Ipswich. After a dozen calls every day for the following week from him, Reid and Tyler, they managed to convince me to spend the remainder of the year at Spencer because I wouldn't be able to fly back to school in California on time. How could I forget the main reason I left Ipswich for?? How could I go back and face him after everything that happened between us? Of course he wouldn't even care if I came back or saw him again but what the hell …. I'm so over him... right?!

_Damn it…_ then why the hell couldn't I get him off my mind for the past 2 years?

Oh man, this is harder then I thought... For God's sake he's my best friend, or at least he used to be …

_**Flashback **_

"_Awwwe... it hurts", an 11 year old Kaylan cried looking at the 4 older boys._

"_Suck it up Matthews. It's just a knee scrape!!!" smirked a blue eyed Reid_

"_Lay off her Reid… Come on Kay I'll help you." smiled a young Pogue. He helped me up off the ground and sat me on a wooden bench a bit farther from the place we were playing. The rest had decided to stay behind and finish the game of football we were playing. He checked my knee then smiled up at me_

"_Well you haven't broken anything and you're not hurt that bad. You'll be fine once we get you cleaned up" I smiled up at Pogue _

"_Thank you, you can get back to the game now if you want"_

"_No, I'm staying here with you. Keep you company "_

"_You don't have to that Pogue. You don't have to be here for me"_

_He then turned and looked me directly in the eyes and said,_

"_Kaylan Jade Matthews, I will always be here for you whether you need me or not. You're my best friend Peanut and the most important person in my life. Never think otherwise..."_

_He said while holding me hand tightly then he reached around his neck and took off one of his dog tags, the one that had his initials on and his birthday. He then reached behind my neck and took off my necklace and added the dog tag to it then put it back around my neck._

_It took me a while to realize what he had done_

"_Pogue, you can't do that. You love these tags, you…"_

"_Kaylan, you're a special person who deserves something special. Now I'm not sure about you but I never take these off so..."before he could continue I cut him off by hugging him and saying "Neither will I Parry… Neither will I..." _

_**End Flashback**_

I felt my vision blurring and the moist tears spilling down my cheeks.

So much for keeping your promise Pogue Parry... I thought fingering the dog tags around my neck. He hasn't spoken to me for quite a while and I missed him... I missed my best friend…

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U guyz for God's sake… READ AND REVIEW!!!!!

It's really encouraging if you do even if you don't like it; just tell me so that I could work on whatever you don't like…

As always, any ideas are welcome and of course REVIEWS... HAHA =))


	2. Chapter 2

First and foremost …

THANK YOU GUYZ FOR REVIEWING!!!

I luv you guys... You make my day

But I really need to ask you guys a favor… I don't have a beta and if anyone would like the job... Plz tell me!!

Anyway, on with the show…

Play list suggestion: Ramalama (Bang Bang) – Roisin Murphy

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Covenant" even though I wish I did =)) I only own any characters you don't recognize…

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_**Caleb POV**_

"Mom, I'm on my way to pick up Kaylan. Her plane is going to be here in an hour and I'm already late…" I told my mom while rushing to grab my keys from the glass bowl on the kitchen counter and heading out the door. I really missed my cousin. She was what you could call a firecracker, and the key word here is _was…_

Ever since what happened with Pogue over 2 years ago she just became an angry, hollow shell of her former self according to my Uncle Tom, her dad. She wouldn't even talk to us until we had just had enough and forced her to talk to us by going all the way to California and forcing her to see us. Even then she refused to speak more than a few words. She wouldn't let any of us see her after that or come check on her so it was quite a miracle that I got her to agree to come over for my Father's funeral. We really didn't need her to come for the funeral or anything… that was just a front... What we all wanted, all as in me, Reid and Tyler, was for her and Pogue to speak to each other again. Pogue's state actually wasn't that different from hers. He actually became a royal bitch ever since she left and he was too pig headed to talk to her. None of us actually knew what happened between them. All we knew was that they had a big fight one day and they both stayed out of each other's from then on. If one of them was in a place, the other would go running the opposite way. That was extremely unnerving because they were both joined at the hip and you would rarely see one of them away from the other. None of them would talk to us or explain what happened. Then a month after wards Kaylan told us she was leaving only 2 hours before her flight so that we couldn't stop her. Ever since then they have both become completely different people. He wouldn't admit it out load but Pogue Parry actually needed his best friend as much as she needed him if not more!!

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I arrived just in time… her plane had just landed and I was waiting anxiously to see my younger cousin. I wondered if she had changed much. Before she left, Kaylan was your typical teenage girl. She wasn't thin but she wasn't fat either... Her eyes were this warm sparkling brown with gold specks and her hair was this light brown with a hint of red. She might have been average looking but she had an extraordinary presence. She could liven up the place with just being there. She loved dancing and singing and music but she would only make us see her dance or sing on a few occasions. I wasn't afraid of her changing per se, I was afraid that she might have changed for the worst and given up on everything that she loved. I would soon find out though. I waited and waited and she still hadn't shown herself so I decided to go look for her incase she needed help. I made my way to the luggage area and then I stopped dead in my tracks… Holy Freakin Shit!!!

There standing trying to lift a heavy suitcase from between many others was the most gorgeous pair of long, tanned legs encased in jean shorts I have ever seen… I took a closer look at the girl with the long legs. She was wearing a black t shirt that showed a bit of stomach. I could see the piercing on her belly button and the tribal tattoo on her lower back. She was wearing a pair of sunglasses on top her head that was this reddish brown color that seemed familiar. I lift my head to get a look at her once more and that's when I saw it… The girl was smirking at me with her hands on her hips… _Shit!!! _I was just caught checking out a girl at the airport!! And that girl just happened to be my cousin Kaylan…

_**Kaylan POV **_

_Fuck It!!!_ I don't need my freakin' luggage or my freakin clothes!!! I'll just buy new ones when I get into town. I turned around and guess who I saw staring at me with his mouth hanging open…

_Caleb Danvers_

He must have not recognized me at first or something. I wouldn't say that I've changed that much over the last 2 years but there has been change. I grew a good couple of inches and all the extra weight I had went to the right places so I had decent curves. I had a well proportioned body because of all the dancing and a pair of legs I am oh so proud of because of all the running. I let my hair grow out to about a few inches below my shoulders. I guess he realized the slight changes 'cause he was staring pretty hard. So, evil me decided to play him for a while. I started walking up to him saying, "Would you stop staring at me Danvers? You're creeping me out!!" He just stared at me then he broke into a huge grin. He threw his arms around me in a hug lifting me off the ground. He then put me down "Holly shit, since when have you been hot?" He asked. "You like?" I said turning a full 360. "I love!!! But gross I was checking my own _cousin_ out!! I need help "he said then we both broke out laughing. He helped me get me things and we headed towards his car.

I realized that he hadn't spoken much since we got on the road and that meant that he was guilty of something. I decided to find out what he was hiding "Soo, how are the boys? They waiting for my glorious return?" he took a quick look at me then turned his focus back to the road. He didn't speak right away but laughed nervously and answered a quite" Fine" But he didn't elaborate. Then I realized why he'd been so afraid to talk to me "YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM I WAS COMING???!!!" I asked feeling my anger levels rising. I looked at him and he looked flushed so I figured out the answer for myself. "I gave him a faint idea that you might think of dropping by for a day or two…."he trailed off. "Stop the car!!!" I demanded. He then pulled over and looked over to me. "Are you insane? You not telling him I was coming over is one thing not knowing that I'm spending the rest of the year here is another thing... He's going to flip and I have no intention of dealing with him if he decides to have a bitch fit!! "I told him sternly looking him straight in the eyes. He looked at me guiltily and said "I'm sorry Kay but we have to do this!" I looked back at him and said "_we_ have to do _what_? "he didn't answer me but started the car and continued driving. I looked at him angrily because I knew Caleb wouldn't give me anything useful if he gave me anything else in the first place. I just grunted an angry "whatever" at Caleb and then plugged my ipod and decided to drown out my thoughts and all the shit that I knew I was about to go through by listening to music. It always helped me chill out and avoid killing people when I get mad. I hit play and the song started playing

_Could a body close the mind out  
Stitch a seam across the eye  
If you can be good, you'll live forever  
If you're bad, you'll die when you die_

Hearing only one true note  
On the one and only sound  
Unzip my body  
Take my heart out  
'Cause I need a beat to give this tune

Around the middle of the song I spotted the Danvers mansion. Caleb said that we'd check in with Aunt Evelyn first and spend the night there then we'd go to Spencer tomorrow so that I could get settled in. He pulled up his driveway and that's when I saw it... the famous yellow bike and I immediately thought

_OH FREAKIN' SHIT!!!_

Pogue's bike was in the driveway...

_N__o, no, no_…._This isn't happening! _I thought… Maybe he just left it there, right? I got out of the car praying to everything holly that I wouldn't meet the person who had made the past 2 years of my life a living hell. I wasn't ready for that yet. And I seemed to be in luck because I didn't see him around. I turned around to get my bag from the car seat and I faintly heard the front door opening. I thought it must be my aunt so I turned around expecting to see the female figure walking down to us and that's when I saw him... The long haired boy that I was sooo not ready to see…

Pogue_ FREAKIN' _Parry_!!!!_

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Hahaha… she's not very lucky is she??

So people … Love, like, hate?

Plz **review** and tell me what you think and if you have any ideas.

By the way, could you guys tell me how often do you think I should update cause I really want to know how long you're willing to wait for an update….

Lots of Luv... 3


	3. Chapter 3

Hiiii everybody!!!

Hope you liked the previous chapter and many thanks to those who reviewed BUT I didn't get enough reviews hence the little delay so the more you review the faster I update… mwhahaahaa… I'm not going to tell you guys what's going to happen between Pogue and Kaylan now, I'm leaving it a little down the road cause I'm evil ( hehehe =P )

Anyways hope u enjoy this chapter….and… REVIEW PEOPLE !!!!

Play list suggestion: Friend or Foe – TATU

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**_Kaylan POV_**

No, No, No and No!!! This is not happening! I felt my anger level rising as I turned around and faced my cousin. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I pulled my arm back and before I could land a punch in his face someone else beat me to it... Then just as I was turning around to face the person that landed a punch to Caleb's jaw, I heard it. Something that I thought I would never hear. "You bastard! I told you I don't want to see her ever again. You didn't just go against that but you also blew me off to go pick her up from the airport and to top everything off I hear from YOUR MOTHER that she's staying with us not for a few days but for the rest of the year!!" by the time he was done with his little speech he was breathing hard, his face red from pure rage. Caleb had already gotten up off the floor and was now checking his jaw for injuries. I just looked at Pogue's back dumfounded. Had he really not wanted to see me ever again I thought. Despite all the anger I had once been feeling, I actually thought that we could try and work things out. All the angry thoughts I was thinking right then turned to extreme hurt. I was trying desperately to hold back the hurt and pain I was feeling and stop the tears from falling. I decided just then what I was supposed to do. I brushed past Pogue, knocking him fiercely with my shoulder and stood in Caleb's face. "Give me your keys..." I said holding out my hand. He just looked at me strangely then started to speak but I beat him to it "Don't you even dare try to utter one word to explain yourself or that other sorry excuse for a human being! No I will say it slowly... Give. Me. Your. Keys!! " Caleb just looked at me looking guilty and started to give me his keys when Pogue stopped the whole scene by grabbing onto my shoulder and turning me around roughly to face him screaming " If I'm the sorry excuse for a human than what the hell are you ?". I caught a glimpse of Caleb's horror stricken face but he didn't catch the look on mine. I stood there fuming and before I could stop myself, my fist connected to his face and I heard a crunch. "**One**: You know damn well why you're a sorry excuse not only for a human being but for a living creature. **Two**: Don't you dare touch me again without my permission…**Ever**!!" I glared at him then turned around and snatched the keys from Caleb's open hands and ran to the car. While starting the car I got out my phone and dialed the familiar number and after 2 rings it answered … "Hello? "

As soon as I heard the voice I broke down in the car crying... "Tyler..." hearing my panic stricken voice he cut me off "Kaylan what's wrong are you hurt?" I shook my head even though he couldn't see me then answered"Tyler, can you please come get me? "I asked shaking slightly" Please, please Tyler I just can't be around him anymore! "As soon as he heard the urgency in m voice he answered quickly "Of course I'll come. It won't take me long. Where are you? "I sniffled then looked around... "I think I'm somewhere near the old lake." "Ok I'm on my way" he said ending our call. Tyler was the closest thing to what Pogue was to me. He was the only one that I talked to out of all the boys. I told him that I didn't want anyone else knowing that I talked to him. A few minutes later I saw the familiar black Hummer and the warm blue eyes of baby boy. As soon as he got out of his car I ran to him and the dams broke. He picked me up and sat me on the hood of his car and started murmuring sweet words into my ears to calm me down like "it's ok" or "you're not alone baby girl" He had taken a liking to calling me that. A while later my tears slowed down until they eventually stopped. Tyler lifted my head up from his chest that was now soaked and asked me softly what was wrong. I looked up to him and told him the whole story from the moment I got off the plane to the part where I saw Pogue and what he told me. He just pulled me into a hug and told me that everything would be fixed and that he would stay with me as long as I wanted. I hugged him back and whispered a weak Thank you. We then decided to go Spencer to get me settled in then we'd hang out somewhere. I agreed to do that but on my way to the car I looked back at Caleb's and forgot that I had it. I really didn't want to speak to him now so I just parked his car and decided to return it later. Tyler started the hummer and we sped to Spencer...

**_Pogue's POV_**

_That bastard_! I thought.

How could he have not told me that she was coming? I couldn't face her. Not now, not ever… I was on my out to my bike when I saw the car pulling up the driveway. I saw Caleb's figure in the driver's seat and I saw a faint figure of a girl in the passenger seat. I instantly knew who it was. I prayed that I didn't have to run into her during her stay but I wasn't in luck. I saw her stepping out of Caleb's car and knew then that there was no turning back, I had to face her. I stomped outside and that's when I lashed out at her and all hell broke loose...

................................... ............................................... .............................................................. .....................................................

After she left all I could do was stare after her dumfounded. _How could I have been such an ass?_ I then looked at Caleb and he had a menacing look on his face. "Do you even realize how much you hurt her then and how you're finishing her off now? I really don't know what either of you did but you are being an ass Pogue. A real fucking ass…" He told me in a deadly quiet voice. I honestly couldn't answer him. Everything was just too fucked up. What the hell is going on? I know I might have been not so friendly to her before she left but I was really pissed because she actually left. _She left me_. I just couldn't take it. She was everything to me… I just broke down in front of Caleb. I fell to my knees and looked at him with glossy eyes and said my voice breaking slightly" She left me Caleb… She left me alone, I just looked up and she wasn't there. That hurt Caleb, It _really_ hurt…"

**_Caleb POV_**

_Holly Hell!!_

Pogue Parry was breaking down in front of me over my cousin. He hasn't done that… Ever… He didn't even do that when he broke up with Kate that one time after the accident with Chase. And Kate was, or is, everything to him. I stood there unable to understand what the hell was going on. What in the world happened between these two that broke them so badly? I wouldn't think about that now. Now, I would tend to the broken mess that was one of my best friends then later I would insist he tell me because this has gone way too far. I helped Pogue inside the house and we went into the living room where my mother was standing. "What's the matter? Where's Kay?" she asked looking around for my younger cousin. "Not now Mom. I'll explain everything later." I said giving her a look that clearly said that this wasn't the time. She took one look at Pogue and seemed to understand slightly as well as get even more confused. She left us alone and I turned to Pogue. He had somehow composed himself and was now standing looking out the window with a blank face. Just as I was about to talk to him my cell phone started ringing. I sighed and checked who it was and found it to be Tyler. I flipped the phone open. "Hey Tyler" I said quietly into the phone." Caleb, I have Kaylan with me we're at the dorms. I just dropped her off to her room. The girl's a fucking mess… as in a very bad fucking mess!! She told me what happened with Pogue." He trailed off. "This has gotten too far Tyler… This is just too much for even us to bear. We have to do something…" I said walking away from where Pogue was. "I think I have an idea. Just get Pogue to Nicky's tonight and I'll tell you what I have in mind once we're there." He said ending our conversation leaving me a bit confused about what he wanted to do. Despite my fear of the situation and how they could both react to our little plan, I had complete trust in Tyler and his love for all of us. His family… My family… I re entered the living room and looked towards Pogue. He had that far away look in his eyes that seemed to be there a lot lately. I walked over to him knowing that he didn't really like talking about his feelings. He never talked about how he felt and we could rarely understand him. That's why I was shocked he broke down in front of me... He never did… And that scared me... The only person who could understand him was Kaylan. She was the only one who could understand Pogue and get him talking to her. They were freaky together… They could actually understand what the other wanted to say by simply looking at them. I knew that if I tried approaching Pogue about his breakdown outside he'd just deny it and close up even more so I decided to leave it be. All I did was walk up to him and said "Go home, get cleaned up and ready cause we're going to Nicky's in an hour…"

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Drama, Drama, Drama …. Hahaha XD

So people, REVIEW!!! The more reviews I get the faster I update sooo it's up to you...

Tell me what you guys think happened between both of them and the closest one to the truth will get a little sneak peak at where this story is going…

If you have any ideas… Send them over people!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everybody… here's the chapter but…

I need to ask you guys a favor… If you expect to find any lemons in this story I strongly suggest that someone help me write them… So if someone is up to writing the lemons for this story PLZ tell me cause there is supposed to be quite a handful coming up …. Plz … HELP !!!

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_**Kaylan POV**_

As soon as we got to Spencer Tyler led me inside to get my schedule and dorm keys. I was staying in a room alone because I transferred in late and everyone was already settled in.

My room turned out to be on the same floor as Tyler and Reid's, which might I add was very comforting. Tyler helped me with my bags and stuff and got them up to my room. The room was very simple yet comfortable.

Tyler told me that it was just like theirs but mine had grey walls while theirs had blue. I got into the room and threw myself on the bed. I was dead tired both physically and emotionally.

I planned on putting everything away then going straight to bed, my stuff weren't that much anyway.

Just as I was about to get up to kick Tyler out my room he said:

"We're going to Nicky's in an hour or so"

I looked up at him raising an eyebrow

"Why the hell? I'm tired and besides I don't want to see Pogue"

He looked at me then shook his head

"You have to show him that whatever the hell he did before didn't break you and that you haven't changed much except grow…" he trailed off.

I looked at him and realized that not only Tyler but all the boys needed me and Pogue to get along. Us not getting along affected them as much as it affected us. I had to try and get along with Pogue… it would be hell for me to bear but I'd do anything for these boys.

"Ok I'll be ready in an hour, but you'll drive me there" I told him getting up.

"Ok. Now I'll leave you to get ready." He said on his way out, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he was out the door I ran to grab my cell phone. I dialed the familiar number. Two rings later, I heard the comforting deep voice on the other line.

" Hello?"

"Jay… It's Kaylan" I said feeling my previous outburst with Tyler earlier about to repeat itself.

"Hey baby girl. You ok? You don't sound too happy…" he trailed off

"Jay I can't face him… I just _can't_!" I said starting to choke up

"You saw Pogue didn't you…" he didn't even wait for my answer" What the hell did he do?"

Jay was the closest thing to what Pogue was to me. When I first got to California I was a mess. I stopped eating, sleeping, dancing, listening to music and doing everything I once loved. On my way home one day from school, I just broke down in the middle of the street.

He was passing by and even though he didn't recognize me right away he helped me off the ground and onto a bench nearby and asked me if I was ok. He then recognized that we went to school together and that he always thought I looked sad and broken and that he wanted to help me out. I told him that I was ok and that I didn't need anything but when I looked into his eyes I saw the sincerity of his words.

He then asked me out to get some pizza but I told him that it would be better if we just went over to my house and order from there.

We went home and we ordered pizza and then we talked for a while. After about half an hour he excused himself and told me he'd see me the following day at school.

Ever since then we've been extremely close and I gradually started opening up to him. I discovered that he was an outstanding dancer and that I could actually learn a thing or two from him. He was the only one who saw me dance. Not even Pogue saw that as often as Jay did. He told me that I was exceptional dancer and that he never would've guessed that I was that good.

I eventually told him all about me and the boys and my situation with Pogue. I opened up to him and realized that he was a great listener and didn't judge.

He worked with me on my dancing and got me dancing more than one style with the help of some of the other guys that danced.

I was originally a contemporary dancer but Jay being a popper taught me a lot. The other guys and girls dance other styles and helped me out tremendously. By the end of the year I was declared a better popper than the Jay man himself…

After my conversation with Jay I decided to do as he told me. He told me to show strength and confidence and not let Pogue get to me for my sake and the sake of the rest of our friends.

I took a quick shower then decided on a simple black bubble miniskirt and a form fitting grey halter top that looked cute yet confident.

_The look I'm going for_…I thought

I decided to ruffle my hair up a bit giving it the crazy sexy look I liked. As I was adding a bit of lip gloss I heard a knock at my door then Reid and Tyler came bursting in. I was in the bathroom so they couldn't see me before I was done.

"Hey girl you ready?"Reid asked flopping down on my bed.

"Yeah just a few more things... So who's going to be there?" I asked adding more lip gloss.

"Me, baby boy, Caleb, and… Pogue and Kate." Reid said casually.

Tyler looked uncomfortable at the mention of Pogue and Kate's name.

I was beyond pissed at that female slut… I had a feeling that she would be showing up with Pogue since they were…_together_ but I hoped she wouldn't.

That bitch turned my life upside down and then rubbed it in my face. Of course she knew I was back and was going to give me crap. But I wasn't going to sit back anymore. She wasn't going to win this … I walked out of the bathroom and turned to grab my bag but I heard Reid whistling and making wolf noises. That boy was horny 24/7… _Damn!!!_

Tyler cleared his throat and then gestured with his hands that we should get going. As soon as Tyler was out the door Reid turned to me and said "Holy Fucking Hell…Where have you been all my life?! "

I laughed and punched him lightly on the arm.

Reid just smirked and added "Some guys are going to have a really really _hard_ time tonight because of you Baby girl…"

"So I take it I look good" I added

"You look perfect Kay" Tyler said looking almost red.

We walked into the hall and out to the car hearing a comment every now and then. The drive to Nicky's was relatively uneventful and we got there rather quickly. Tyler and Reid led me into Nicky's and as soon as we entered we spotted Caleb, Pogue and another who I assumed was Kate because she was facing away from us.

"Are you sure you don't want to ditch these bitches and get down and dirty with me?" Reid whispered on our way in and I just couldn't help but laugh at his attempts to flirt. He actually looked hopeful…

As we got closer I could feel Caleb's and surprisingly enough Pogue's eyes on my legs. I smiled an evil smile at Caleb and chose to ignore Pogue and Kate.

"You checking me out again perv?"I asked Caleb who just laughed and hugged me whispering into my ear "I get it your ok?"

I pulled back smiled then nodded discretely. I looked at Pogue nodding and giving him a cold " Pogue" as a greeting then looked at Kate up and down and gave her a disgusted look, smirking I gave her a similar greeting to Pogue's ….

"Kate…"

**_Pogue's POV:_**

Caleb managed to drag me to Nicky's that night to" cool off ".As soon as we got there I saw Kate all over Aaron Abbot. What actually surprised me was that I didn't give a damn if she jumped him on the pool tables in front of us. We got to our usual table and she joined us shortly. I didn't bother to greet her; I just nodded to acknowledge her presence.

About half an hour later we heard the door open and I spotted Tyler walking in. Turning my head back I heard the musical laughter that I knew so well. I looked back and spotted Kaylan laughing throwing her head back. I didn't get a closer look at her before but now that I did I realized how beautiful she actually grew up to be.

I was secretly proud of how she turned up and I desperately missed her.

The skirt she was wearing showed off her long tanned legs. Her hair seemed more beautiful and just a few inches longer than I remember. She didn't wear much make up but what she had on only made her natural beauty stand out. She was simply_… breathtaking…_

As they got closer to our table Kaylan's smile faded and she greeted Kate and I coldly. She then sat between Caleb and Tyler.

After about 10 minutes of awkward silence Reid asked Kaylan to pick a song so that they could dance because he remembered she was a good dancer. I remember that she loved dance and that she was pretty good. She blushed and nodded but stopped and looked evilly at Kate then turned her eyes to me.

I registered that Kate had asked me a question. I looked at her uninterested

"What do you want?"

" I said this little…princess… seems to have many talents…all which have something to do with the way she moves her body around boys doesn't it ?" she asked smirking.

I knew what she meant but before I could answer her Kaylan had gotten up and was looking dangerously at Kate.

"That is it Kate! This has gone too far… You now nothing about me… _NOTHING_!!"

She said fisting her hand and slamming it on the table.

"You will stay away from me Kate if you know what's good for you…"

She then looked at me, her eyes full of hurt and unshed tears

"That goes for you too Parry… Just stay away from me... You've done enough..."

She then turned and walked out of Nicky's before anyone could stop her. I stood there unable to move for several minutes but when I managed to move I turned to look at Kate and she was smiling innocently at me but there was an evil look in her eyes.

"You _BITCH!!!_ You will stay away from her and you will stay away from me, from all of us. You had no right to say what you did and if she so much as sheds a tear because of you, you will be sorry…" I told her angrily and I let my eyes flash black to emphasize my point.

I turned around and stormed out hopping to catch Kaylan before she left. I could hear Kate cursing Kaylan and calling her all kinds of names but I had more important things to worry about...

I found out too late about what actually happened that night and knew that I had screwed everything with Kaylan. I should have trusted my heart and closed my big mouth. But it was too late to fix anything by the time I figured that out. My outburst earlier with Kay had been of surprise and longing more than anything and I just didn't have the balls to apologize to her…

I walked out of Nicky's and looked around… I spotted a figure leaning weakly against Tyler's hummer and knew from the light brown head of hair who it was. As I approached I heard the soft whimpering and cries of my Kay bear.

I felt my heart hurt at the sound of her cries.

At the sound of my footsteps, she straightened up and I saw her hands move to wipe her wet cheeks.

I crept closer then softly called…

"_Kaylan…."_

* * *

Dm dm dm….

What the hell's going to happen ??? * evil smirk*  
Will they talk, will they fight, will they maybe……

Hahahah…. REVIEW AND FIND OUT….

Peace out =))


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys .. Sorry for the long waiit but i had some really bad family issues that honestly made me feel like crap so i couldn't get anything decent down .. This chapter is sort of a filler .. not many things happening but i just couldn't leave you any longer without any more**

**Hopefully, the next chapter will be so much better.. If you have any ideas plz, plz, plz help me out here =S**

**Anyways , on with the filler ..**

**(Disclaimer in chapter 2)**

* * *

**_Previously:_**

_I walked out of Nicky's and looked around… I spotted a figure leaning weakly against Tyler's hummer and knew from the light brown head of hair who it was. As I approached I heard the soft whimpering and cries of my Kay bear. _

_I felt my heart hurt at the sound of her cries._

_At the sound of my footsteps, she straightened up and I saw her hands move to wipe her wet cheeks._

_I crept closer then softly called…_

"_Kaylan…."_

**Kaylan POV:**

I heard someone walk towards me and my name being called softly.

_Pogue._

I can't let him see me cry.

I wiped my cheeks quickly and straightened up. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I jumped and quickly moved away from him. His touch literally burned.

I turned around with the intention of biting his head off but the look in his eyes stopped me from utter a word. His eyes actually showed pain…

"Kaylan… I'm... I'm..." he paused then looked away saying "Damn it .. i can't" He whispered, his voice breaking slightly.

"_You CAN'T _? Are you fucking _kidding_ me? You're too high and mighty that you can't even apologize?!" I screeched

"_Apologize_? Why the hell should I apologize?? You're the one that should apologize... You're the one that should be coming after me not the other way around…" He said.

Those words… Those simple words were my undoing…

I turned around to face him and started walking in his direction. My eyes staring straight at his and my voice deadly calm…

"_I'm_sorry Pogue. _I'm_ the one that caused you pain. _I'm_ the one who fucked up you're life_. I'm_ the one that believed my lover over my best friend. The best friend whom you treated like dirt. The best friend that you _promised_ you'd be there for. You chose Pogue…long ago. You chose the girl sitting inside even though I told you not to…even though I told you that there was a good chance you'd lose what we had.. Now, did I cover everything or did I miss something?"

I eyed him evilly and he looked as if he had been slapped.

He overcame his shock moments after then strode over to me and gripped my shoulders tightly.

"You _did_ cause me pain and I did NOT fuck up your life... _You're_ the one that fucked it up by _fucking_ that prick…"

Before he could even finish what he was going to say,

**_SLAP!!_**

I slapped him…HARD !!!

"Don't you even _dare _Pogue Parry. "I said freeing myself from his stunned self. I walked away trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall…

**Pogue POV:**

_You fucking idiot_ !!

i thought about what just happened. The moment the words i said left my mouth i regretted them. I fucked up back then and i'm doing a splendid job fucking things up now!!

"Kaylan .. Kaylan.. please wait up .." i cried running after her. i couldn't let her walk away from me with things the way they are.

"Please just stop for a minute and listen to me.." i pleaded when she wouldn't stop walking.

She stopped walking suddenly and i almost ran into her. She turned around and our faces were inches apart.

"Do not ask me to listen Pogue when you refused to when i asked you the same damn thing.. You threw everything away and chose the path we're both walking now. Just stop Pogue.. I'm tired of this..this.. i don't even know what to call us anymore.." She whispered with tears glistening in her eyes.

i stood there watching her walk away from me, my heart aching with every single step she took. i ruined everything between us. I lost the one person that meant the world to me...

* * *

**Soooo ... what do you think ??? *nervous giggle***

**Next chapter will hopefully be longer with more juice .. Just bear with me =)**

**aaaand ... Help me out with ideas plz =S**

**I do, however , need to ask you guys a favour .. i have pictures of the characters and i want to post them but i don't know how .. Help me out plz ?? **


	6. Chapter 6

**People .. The much awaited Chapter 6 !!!**

**Before you read, i must say a few things ..**

**_First :_I was kind of disappointed at the amount of reviews i got last time. I don't mind a few reviews but i come on people i got like .. Three!! Where are all my faithful readers ??! mmm ??! **

**_Second:_ This chapter is sort of a stepping stone to the next one and gives you some insight on what to expect !**

**_Third:_ I posted some pictures of who i have in mind while writing each character. The links are on my profile . I would be forever grateful if you checked them out and tell me what you think**

**_Finally,_I would really, like REALLY like to thank the oh so brilliant TempusSimia for the wonderful help and the oh so amazing J-21Way for the fabulous review and the gr8 input !! You are simply the reason i continued writing !! Though i hope i don't disappoint you .. =)**

**Without further delay, On with the chapter ...**

**Play list Suggestion : Paradise - Vanessa Carlton**** , Kill the lights - Britney Spears **

* * *

**_Kaylan POV :_**

I ran ..

What the hell did i get myself into by coming back here and facing what i once tried so hard to forget..

I couldn't see clearly because of all the tears blinding my eyes and i felt my heart aching with each step i took.

I couldn't do this.. He didn't know what happened. He only knew half of what actually went on that night. I just couldn't tell him. I already saw the accusation in his eyes and that look of utter hurt and disgust when he came back from his talk with Kate. I couldn't have told him the truth and seen that look of disbelieve or pity from him.. i just couldn't...

Walking down the road i decided to call the one person who actually knew the whole story and would help me sort things out. I got out my phone and dialled the number, after a few rings, he picked up..

"Hello ? " answered a groggy Jay

"Jay.." i answered my voice hoarse because of all the crying

"Oh my god Kaylan? You sound terrible" He answered the worry evident in his voice

"I'm so sorry i woke you up but i just.."

"Kaylan,you know you can call me anytime.. Now where are you and why do sound like you've cried ?" He asked cutting me off.

"I'm walking home from Nickey's and i met Kate... That bitch won't let me be Jay.. She just won't leave me alone..." I said my voice showing how tired i was.

"Ok, That's enough.. I'm coming first thing in the morning and we are going to set everything straight with everyone. This has gone far enough! " He said his voice raised slightly.

The idea of Jay coming and being near me calmed me down a bit but the idea of me telling everyone, specially Pogue, was making me wish i never said anything to anyone. I knew Jay was right though and that all he wanted was to see me happy.

"Fine.. Call me when you get here and i'll come pick you up... And Jay ?" I asked

"Yeah ?" he said

"Thank you .. for everything.." i said in a whisper.

"You're very welcome baby girl.." he said and i could feel the emotion in his voice.

I realised that my call with Jay lasted longer than i thought it would since i was already in front if Spencer.

I got in and headed for my room. I changed and took a quick shower and started to climb into bed. I hadn't realised how much my legs ached from all the walking until now. I lay down and turned of the lights.

Staring into the darkness and remembering what happened so long ago, i cried and cried until i felt my head spinning with the amount of emotion. I sat up in my bed and thought of what i could do to ease my state.

I remembered what Tyler had told me about Spencer opening some sort of dance studio in an attempt to get me to come back. I got out of bed and grabbed a large sweater to cover up the shorts and tank top i was wearing. I took my ipod of my desk and headed in search of this so called dance studio.

After half an hour of getting lost , i finally found the studio that seemed more of a large gym. Entering the large space, i instantly started feeling the sense of peace i got when i danced. Hooking up my ipod and choosing the song, i felt my whole body move to the soothing beat.

_Once upon a year gone by  
she saw herself give in  
every time she closed her eyes  
she saw what could have been  
well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds  
when covers tucked in tight  
funny when the bottom drops  
how she forgets to fight... to fight _

_and it's one more day in paradise  
one more day in paradise_

_as darkness quickly steals the light  
that shined within her eyes  
she slowly swallows all her fear  
and soothes her mind with lies  
well all she wants and all she needs  
are reasons to survive  
a day in which the sun will take  
her artificial light... her light_

_and it's one more day in paradise  
one more day in paradise  
it's one more day in paradise  
one last chance to feel alright... alright_

_don't pretend to hold it in just let it out  
don't pretend to hold it in just push it out  
don't you try to hold it in just let it out and  
don't you try to hold it in you hold it in_

The song ended with my breathing harsh and my emotions partially figured out.

I knew that everything was fucked up and that everyone had everything mixed up and that everything had to be fixed for all of us to actually feel properly again. The only thing i couldn't figure out was how everything was going to be fixed.

Feeling the events of the whole day getting the best of me, i gathered my stuff and hurried to my room, feeling more than ready to get a few hours of sleep.

Waking up to the shrilling sound of my phone was something that i didn't like and the person calling would pay.

"Hello ? " I answered, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Oh my god !! You're _still_ asleep?! " I realised then that it was Jay.

"Why do you even _care_ ?! " I answered harshly.

"I care because this is not the sort of welcome i was expecting after driving all night to come to the aid of my dear dear Kay bear ! " He answered laughing.

"Oh !! I'm so sorry.. I totally forgot about you coming today. I'll be right there to ...Wait, why did you drive all night? " I asked getting out of my warm bed quickly.

"Well i sorta couldn't find any flights and i didn't want to leave you any longer the way i heard you last night.." He said his voice trailing off

"Well then, a proper welcome is needed. Lets meet for lunch in say an hour ? You'll even see the rest of the guys" I asked ignoring his earlier comment.

"Honey, it's already 5. I'll meet you guys in a few hours for some diner. I need to get some sleep. " He said laughing slightly.

"OK then. I'll call the boys and we'll all meet at Nicky's." I said

"OK then I'll meet you guys in a while. " He said tiredly.

I hung up with Jay feeling excited that i finally get the chance to see him after so long. I called Caleb and told him quickly what my plan was and that he should tell the rest of the boys.

I decided to talk a long, relaxing bath and get ready for tonight. Gathering all the stuff i needed, i headed for the much awaited bath.

An hour later, i was relaxed and smelling quite clean with my hair properly washed. I turned to my closet to chose what i was going to wear tonight. I looked through my clothes for about 15 minutes when i finally decided on my favorite pair of black skinny jeans that hugged my curves perfectly and a white halter top that showed just the right amount of skin. ( **A/N : outfit link on my profile, check it out =D** )

After getting dressed, i realised that my hair had dried a bit with a messy look. I liked that natural messy look so i let my hair be. I slipped on some black sandals and grabbed my black purse and was on my way out only to be stopped by a knock on my door.

I opened my door to find the one and only Tyler standing in front of me. He was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a white shirt that he had up to his elbows. His hair was that beautiful mess making him look quite handsome.

"Looking hot baby boy " I said giving him a quick hug.

"You don't look to bad yourself .." He said a slight blush making it's way to his face.

"Not that I'm happy to see you but why are you here ?" I asked him raising an eyebrow.

"I thought maybe you needed a ride. Everyone's there already. " He said raising the keys he held in his hands.

"Sure why not.. " I said shrugging

We head out to his hummer and the drive to Nicky's was relatively calm. I was getting more and more nervous as we got closer to Nickey's.

As soon as we got there, i dashed inside. I was dying to see Jay.

I walked inside and started to scan the crowd for the tall figure with messy dark brown hair. Looking around i found him talking to my cousin Caleb near our regular table. Not knowing what got into me, i squealed and started dashing through the crowd

"Oh my god .. Jay !!" I screamed jumping onto the guy and flinging my arms around him.

Turning around as soon as he heard my squeal, he laughed while catching me in a hug and lifting me off the ground.

"Kay man !!" He said setting me on the ground, ruffling my hair then giving me a kiss on the forehead.

"I missed you sooo much !! " I said giving him another quick hug.

"I missed you even more. Look at you.. bright as ever ! " He said laughing .

Up until i heard the not so subtle clearing of one's thought, i had been distracted by Jay. I didn't realise that the rest were staring at us with mixed emotions.

Caleb with a slight smile , Reid with a smirk, Tyler with a shy smile and only then did i realise that both Pogue Kate were also there. The look in Pogue's eyes were a mixture of surprise and fury. Kate had the most surprised look but managed to cover it up with her bitchy smirk. I looked back at Jay and then looked back at the crowd.

"Guys , this is Jayden Mane. Jay these are Reid, Tyler and Caleb whom you've already met and these are Pouge and Kate." I said waving at the last two dismissively.

"Nice to meet you guys.." He said smiling and shaking hands with everyone except the last two.

He then turned to me and held me at arm's length then smiled.

"You look hot ! " He said laughing.

"Why thank you kind sir, You look dashing yourself." I said giving him a good look.

He was wearing dark wash jeans and a black polo shirt that hugged his figure perfectly. He had his collar up and his hair messy which gave him the bad boy look i loved.

"So this is the famous Nicky's." He remarked giving the place a once over. "Not bad.. Not bad at all.. " He said eyeing the juke box.

"Looks like you've made some new friends while you were away .. i didn't know you were capable of that or how he can stand you being around.. Although I'm not surprised, she must be treating you very well.. " Kate said turning to Jay.

I clearly understood what she was trying to say but before i could answer her , Jay gripped my arm and pulled me into a side way hug and said , " Look here ... I didn't quite catch you're name there but never mind that ... You seem to be quite rude. You seem to doubt Kaylan's ability to make friends while you should be questioning you're ability to make any friends or the ability to talk to anyone for that matter with your bitchy attitude " He said with a sweet smile showing off his perfectly white teeth.

I couldn't believe my ears and it seemed tha neither could anyone else because they were all staring open mouthed at both Kate and Jay waiting for her answer which surprisingly never came..

"How about we pick out some music and hit the dance floor. It seems unfair to have two great dancers and not see them move.." Tyler said preventing an argument.

"Yeah, let's see you guys move.." Kate surprisingly spoke up. " Together .." She said sounding up to no good

"Oh no, no, no .. I'm so not going to dance!" I said quickly stepping away from Jay.

"Oh yes you are. Now wait here .." She said an evil glint in her eyes walking towards the juke box.

A few minutes later the song started playing..

_Ladies and Gentlemen, we interrupt our program of Dance Music, to bring you a special  
bulletin from the intercontinental radio news._

_Our very own Pop Princess -now Queen of Pop, has a special announcement she will like to make.._

I couldn't believe her .. That _bitch_ !!!

Jay started moving me towards the dance floor and whispered close to my ears.

_You're on...  
I think I'm ready for my close up..  
Yeah ..._

"I know what she's trying to do.." He moved close to me and started moving my hips with his hands. "Now, Let's give them something to watch.." He said stepping away from me and motioning for me to follow him.

I started walking slowly towards him. One leg in front of the other fluidly ...

_You don't like me  
I don't like you, It don't matter (Who?)  
Only difference  
You still listen, I don't have to (Who?)_

Reaching him and stopping suddenly i grabbed his shoulders with both my hands. Moving around him then stopping in front of him once more.

_In one ear and  
Out the other, I don't need you (Who?)  
Your words don't stick  
I ain't perfect, but you ain't either (Who?)_

The music playing around me, i looked up at Jay. Seeing the confident and reassuring look in his eyes fueled my body's movement. I turned around and started moving my hips in a sensual rhythm while looking at him over my shoulder. He stepped closer to me and ground into me moving my hips with his hands.

_If your feeling froggy leap (Oh)  
I don't even lose no sleep (Oh)  
There's more to me than what you see (Oh)  
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.._

Stepping away from him, we both started dancing to the beat..

_Mr. Photographer  
I think I'm ready for my close-up (Tonight)  
Make sure you catch me from my good side (Pick one!)  
These other (HA) just wanna be me  
Is that money in your pocket?  
Or you happy to see me?  
_

He then turned me around and i ducked to the floor and climbed back up holding onto his legs. He then spun me around dropped me to the floor and through his legs.

_Kill the Lights!  
(Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)  
Kill the Lights!  
(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)  
Kill the Lights!  
(I've seen you, watching me, watching you)  
Kill the Lights!  
You can't handle the truth  
What happened to you?  
_

I realised that Reid had joined us on the dance floor..

That's when i took control and held onto Jay lifting his arms into the air stopping his own movements. I started moving on my own, The beat guiding my movements..

_I KILL  
(The Lights) Pure  
(The Lights) Satis  
(The Lights) Faction  
I KILL  
(The Lights) Lights  
(The Lights) Camera  
(The Lights) Action_

Reid was hollering and cheering for me and the rest of the bar joined in.

_All the flashin', tryin' to cash-in  
Hurts my eyes  
All the poses, out of focus  
I despise_

I turned to Reid and pulled him towards me by the tie he was wearing loosely around his neck.

_Eff me over, your exposure  
Not the best  
You want me bad, I want you out  
Release this stress.._

_Mr. Photographer (Yeaaaaaah..)  
I think I'm ready for my close-up (Tonight) (Yeaaaaaah..)  
Make sure you catch me from my good side (Pick one!) (Yeaaaaaah..)  
These other (HA) just wanna be me  
Is that money in your pocket? (Yeah)  
Or you happy to see me?_

I was now dancing between Reid and Jay. Both of them guiding my movements, my arms in the air, we continued to dance.

_Kill the Lights!  
(Take 'em out, turn 'em off, break 'em down)  
Kill the Lights!  
(Don't be scared, make a move, see me now?)  
Kill the Lights!  
(I've seen you, watching me, watching you)  
Kill the Lights!  
You can't handle the truth  
What happened to you?_

By the end of the song, i realised that i actually had fun. I also realised that half the bar was clapping and cheering and the other half was staring open mouthed.

I turned to Jay and Reid and saw that they both looked quite proud. I smiled up at them and took their hands, guiding them back to our table.

Reaching the rest of the guys, i saw Caleb and Tyler both looking flushed. Kate was fuming but covered it well and Pogue had an unreadable expression on his face but i could see he was quite angry.

I turned to Jay seeking help but i heard Kate mumbling something under her breath to Pogue.

"What was that Kate, we didn't quite hear that .." Jay said sweetly, stepping in front of me.

"I said Kaylan manages to move around quickly, jumping anything having two legs and a dick !! " She said with a content look on her face.

I felt the blood drain from my face. What i didn't expect was what happened next..

"You _bitch_ !! You are the _lowest_kind of low i have ever seen ! And dear you are confused .. You must have been referring to yourself earlier .. " He said getting up.

"That's enough already! We are here to have fun and get along not fight .. Shut the hell up Kate or leave !! " Caleb said his voice a harsh whisper to not draw attention.

"No one tells me to shut up and besides she's the slut and i have no idea why he's defending her .. Oh wait .. I know, maybe she's giving him something _in return_!! " She said her voice dripping acid.

I looked around and noticed that the closer tables were listening in on what we were saying and giving me nasty looks. Caleb seemed to be furious and Reid and Tyler were afraid to interfere. I dared to look at Pogue and i felt my heart break.. He actually _believed_ her !!

I felt my breathing getting harder and harder and i just couldn't take it any more. I grabbed my purse and muttered a chocked " I'm leaving" and dashed to the door hearing Jay saying..

"It's a waste of time staying here and even trying to talk to you ! Just stay _away_ from her.. She's better then you'll _ever_ be !"

The moment i stepped outside, i fell to my knees and felt the sobs rocking my body. I faintly heard the door opening and closing and someone grabbing me from behind and moving me to a farther place. I recognized from the faint smell that it was Jay. He whispered soothing words into my ear while stroking my hair.

"You will not listen to anything she says.. You're _better_ than she'll ever be.. remember that !"

A few moments later, i heard the door opening and closing again. Footsteps of someone coming near could be heard by both of us. I faintly heard Jay talking in a harsh tone saying,

"Get _away_ from her.. She does not _need_ you right now "

"You will _not_ tell me what to do and i _will_speak to her." I then realised that it was, in fact, Pogue who followed us outside.

**_Pogue POV :_**

"She doesn't need to deal with you now Pogue. Leave." He said in a harsh tone.

I couldn't yet believe what happened inside or what was happening in front of me. What i could see was Kaylan curled up in this guy's lap clutching his shirt for dear life and_ his_ arms around her.

_His arms_.

That should be _me_ comforting her not _him_. She should be in _my _arms!!

I couldn't see clearly and my mind was fogged by all the thoughts and jumbled emotions.

"We need to talk before things get more out of hand! " I said clearly showing how serious i was.

He looked up at me and thought for a while. He then leaned closer to Kaylan and whispered something into her ears so low that i couldn't hear.

A minute later she nodded and moved off his lap and started to head down the road to a black car without so much as a second glance my way.

"We need to go somewhere to talk. The three of us. Away from all of this." He said calmly looking back at the bar.

"Fine .. We'll head to my apartment. Follow me." I turned around and started making my way to my bike while Jay turned to go down the road where I saw Kaylan go before him.

I started the bike and turned to see Jay start the car with Kaylan beside him. I sped down the road turning every once in a while to see both following.

_This was it ..._

* * *

**Evil cliffy ... hehehe !!**

**So i decided to stop here and leave the following chapter for the confrontation ..**

**Many, many things are about to be revealed and some may even surprise you =P**

**However ..**

**I will NOT be posting chapter 7 until i have many, many reviews .. so the more you review, the faster you get the chapter..**

***Don't hate me* ..**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and the characters you don't recognize ..**

**The chapter many have been waiting for ..**

**WARNING : Mature content, if you feel uncomfortable skip the part between the * **

**Oh and a big thanks to TempusSimia for the help on bits of this chapter ..**

* * *

**Pogue POV :**

I parked my bike and saw Jay and Kaylan following. Motioning for them to follow me, i climbed the stairs and opened the door. I threw my keys on my kitchen counter then turned to them. I saw that Jay had entered with Kaylan in his arms. She seemed too small next to his tall figure. I felt a surge of jealousy pass through my body and i turned my angry face towards Jay.

"What the hell is so important ? Why do we need to talk? " I asked angrily.

"You need to calm down because I'm not letting her talk to you like this. " He replied in a calm tone.

"Who the hell are you? " I asked angrily.

"I believe that who i am isn't really your business, all you need to know is that i care about Kaylan enough to talk to you after what you did. " He asked his voice calm.

"What_ I_did ?!! Are you freakin _dellusional_ ?? You're standing here, claiming you _care_ about her and that i did something _terrible_ when she's the one that .. that acted like a freaking _slut!!_ " The moment the words left my mouth i instantly regretted them.

I realised that Kaylan's face snapped from the floor and she was staring straight at me. A mixture of pain and hurt on her face.

"Watch what you say Parry. You don't know half of what happened! " He said the warning clear in his voice.

I felt the frustration get the best of me and all the dams broke loose.

"I don't know what happened? I fucking _know_ what happened _too _well !! " I said walking up to him.

I faintly heard people entering the room but i was too far down that road to stop now..

"She's a freakin _whore_ you idiot !! She slept with _half_ the freakin swim team !! They each took _turns_ with her and they fucking _enjoyed _it !" I said angrily slamming my fist on the table in front of me.

I could hear faint gasps and i realised that the rest were here and had just witnessed my outburst. The room had gone quiet in a matter of moments. The calm before the storm...

"You idiot !! You truly know _nothing_ about who you claim to be best friends with. I can't fucking _believe_ you !! You ignorant _bastard_! " He said his voice booming.

"You know nothing about her either ! " I said angrily. Suddenly, i felt realisation dawn on me.

"You fucking _know_ what happened don't you ? " He looked me in the eyes but didn't answer.

"**ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT !!** " i screamed grabbing a fist full of his shirt.

I felt Tyler grab hold of me from behind and Caleb coming between me and Jay.

I was feeling betrayed .. She didn't tell me.. She didn't come to me...

"It's not my place to tell you" He said quietly. I was frustrated. How the hell is he so.. Calm !!

I raised my fist and actually landed a punch with a sickening snap to his jaw. But as I was about to land another one to his face, i heard a shrilling scream.

"**STOP !!** " I turned around and looked at the source of the scream. What I saw made my heart break into a million tiny pieces.

"Just stop _please_ .. " She ended in a whisper

All the room turned to look at Kaylan. She was clutching her head tightly and hunching over breathing heavily. Reid was closest to her and tried to help her but she just pushed him away and screamed

"**STAY AWAY FROM ME !!** " He looked worried but stepped back knowing not to push her in this state. She then snapped her head up and dashed through my door. Tyler disentangled himself from behind me and was about to move after her but Jay stopped him then looked at me.

"Pogue.. go after her." He said sounding drained.

It seemed that all my legs needed to move quickly after her were his words. I ran out the door and ran after her hoping she didn't get too far.

When i stepped out onto the street and looked around, I could see a faint figure swaying a few steps before me. I recognized that person as Kaylan.

She took a few more unsteady steps then fell to her hands and knees breathing heavily. I ran towards her and as i stepped closer i could her breathe in gasps between her sobs.

I knelt before her and whispered not to startle her,

"Kaylan ?" I surprised myself with my chocked up voice.

"_Please_ .. Stay .. _Away_ !! " She chocked.

"Just .._ please_ .. " Then she put her face in her hands and lied on her side on the pavement and sobbed hard. Just like she did many years ago when she was upset.

I felt like dirt. I was the reason she was crying. I couldn't stand her like this.

Whatever she did .. Whatever she didn't do .. She was my Kaylan.. My little Kay bear.

I suddenly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her up to me. She resisted and tried to pull away but I held her tighter not allowing her to struggle or move away.

She settled down a while later then clutched my shirt with such force that her knuckles became white. I pulled her onto my lap and held her tightly and kept shushing into her ear .. She grabbed me tightly and i could feel the strength of her sobs by the force her body shook with. I missed her. I missed the way she felt, the way she smelled, everything about her..

We sat there for what seemed like hours but were actually minutes. I knew everything had to be straightened out. We had to get inside first though. I could feel Kaylan's sobs weakening but her grib on my shirt not loosening one bit. We would have time to speak about everything later.

I gently picked her up off the ground and settled her into my arms. I faintly noted how fragile and weak she seemed. Not like the Kaylan i knew once before..

I climbed up to the apartment and realised that everyone was still there. I stepped inside..

"Everyone.. **Out !** " I said in a tone and a look in my eyes that clearly demanded no argument.

Tyler and Reid were about to argue but Jay cut them off

"They need time and all we can do now is give it to them. " He said quietly leading them out and closing the door softly behind them.

I looked down at the girl in my arms and saw that she had buried into my chest and was breathing deeply. Long deep breaths.

I took slow steps heading into my room not to wake her. I stepped into the room and carried her to my bed. I laid her down and whispered gently "Kay .. I'm going to let you go now "

When she didn't answer i thought that her crying had worn her out. I grabbed her hands that were still clutching me and tried to pry them free. As soon as i did that, her eyes snapped open and she she sat up quickly and flung her arms around my neck. I heard her whispering "no" fiercely into my ears and then say " _Please no not again.._ "

To say I was surprised was an understatment. At first i couldn't do anything but wrap my arms around her to steady myself because she flung herself with such force i didn't know she could still have in her state.

Between all the rage, frustration and pain i couldn't help but feel a strange emotion stirring inside me. I could only associate these feelings to having Kaylan in my arms.

_What the hell was going on with me ?!_

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the soft whisper near me ear,

"Please don't let me go.. Please be here for me.. _Please_ .. Don't hate me .." And i could feel the wetness of her tears on my neck.

These words struck something in me and i just ...

How on earth could i let her _go _? How the hell could i _hate_ her? She was _everything_ to me.. She was my little Kay bear.

I carefully untangled her from me and lay her down . I could feel her slight panic so i quickly lay down next to her. I pulled her into my arms and lay her head onto my chest and started to stroke her hair. I could feel her relaxing slightly so i gently whispered into her ear,

"I will **never**let you go Kaylan and I can't hate you even if i tried.. even .. " I could feel my voice breaking slightly, " .. even after everything "

That was actually very true. I never once brought myself to even think about hating her. I could've been angry, hurt, betrayed among many other feelings but i never .. _Never_ once hated her.

"But you don't know what happened Pogue.. _You don't know_.." Her voice was barely above a whisper but i could tell by the emotion in her voice and the damp feeling of my shirt how upset she was.

I somehow knew deep down that something was wrong and that i shouldn't have trusted what Kate had said to me. But the question was if i wanted to know what actually happened.

"Can you please tell me .. _Please,_ Help me understand _.._" I whispered stroking her hair.

I could feel her stiffen and then pull out of my arms and sit up. She turned her back to me and drew her knees up to her chest and lay her head on her knees. She used to do that all the time when she was sad and ashamed of something she did.

_She should be after what she did_. My mind told me.

_Listen to her and be there for her_. My heart answered back.

"Kay ?" I asked quietly

"You'll hate me.. I'm _dirty_ and.. and _filthy_.. You'll _hate_ me.." She said sounding so small and fragile.

"Don't you trust me ?! I will **not** hate you " I said fiercely i knew by the way her shoulders tensed that i hit a nerve

"Don't be so sure of yourself .. " Her weak voice piercing through me.

"Kay .._ Please _.. " I said my voice pleading

She went quiet and i almost thought she wouldn't tell me and we'd be back at square one. A few antagonizing moments later she started speaking in a low whisper..

**( A/N : You guys really need to concentrate here cause this part a bit confusing sorry .. It's mainly Kaylan speaking with a few answers from Pogue and some of her thoughts. There is also another speaking through Kaylan's narrating .. That will be in _Italics_ .. )**

**Kaylan POV :**

"I never liked Kate you know.." I started off.

"Excuse me ? " He asked sounding slightly confused.

"I always thought she was trying to do everything in her power to get us away from each other.. I think she actually felt jealous of the bond we had.. " I said bitterly. Not even she had the kind of bond i had with him.

"Remember the day she came storming in one morning at Caleb's you had me pinned to the kitchen counter trying to get the pop tart i stole from your plate? " I said smiling at the memory.

"Yeah .. You always did that .. It drove me insane !! " He said chuckling slightly.

"The moment she saw us her eyes got as big as saucers. She apologized for interrupting us and smiled sweetly then went into the living room."

I had then looked skeptically at Pogue not quite getting what she meant then urged him to go find out why she was acting the way she was. He went into the living room and a few moments later I heard the voices rising from inside the room.I hurried in to hear her saying " Are you two that blind ?! It's obvious how much you two are involved !! ".

"I remember you telling her.. _Kate .. She's my best friend, you're my girlfriend .. It's that simple !! _"

His voice showing how bored he was of this then gave out a frustrated cry and said "Oh how both of you are in for a blow !! " Then she walked out completely ignoring me .. Pogue then turned to me and sighed rubbing his hand over his face. I went to him gave him a quick hug and squeezed his cheek and laughed saying " She'll get over it !! "

"That night you said that you had to go out for an errand and that you wouldn't be late. I tried tagging along but you said you needed to do this on your own." I said

"I was going to break up with her.. " He said in a quiet voice.

His words suddenly made alot of things clearer.. I didn't answer him, i simply continued,

"An hour passed and you still hadn't returned. I had a really bad feeling but i just couldn't know why. I was about to go grab my purse and go out looking for you but my phone rang."

"I checked the caller and was surprised to see it was Kate. Something told me that i shouldn't answer but i went against my gut that one time."

"The moment i answered her she screamed into the phone and told me that you were just there, with her and that you left in a hurry. When i asked you where you were going you told her that you needed to go to Putnem Barn cause Tyler was in trouble." I stopped taking a deep breath

"She said that you were really angry and that she was afraid that something had happened to both of you... She begged me to go after you.."

"I remember thinking: This was Pogue.. I have to get to him. But somehow i had this uneasy feeling that something bad was going to happen. I tried calling Tyler but he wouldn't answer his God Damn phone.."

"I never did any of that .. I came back and i found you had already left so i figured you got tired and couldn't wait up. " He said quietly

I stopped waiting to hear him say something else but he just sat there, quietly, waiting for me to continue..

"The moment i got there I couldn't your bike or Tyler's hummer and i felt uneasy. I walked slowly towards the barn and opened the doors. I stepped inside shouting your name but no one answered."

I waited then continue quietly afraid ..

"I walked in a bit when i heard an evil laugh behind me. I spun around and i was face to face with someone i didn't know but somehow knew he was no good.

I looked around and saw that Aaron Abbot and all his goons were coming out of the shadows circling me. I looked around frantically trying to find an escape. But i couldn't find anything and then he started talking .._Well well well .. If it isn't the beautiful Kaylan Matthews.. Caleb Danver's cousin and Pogue Parry's best friend! A two for one combo .._ He started laughed almost maniacally. I didn't know who he was so i asked him who he was and he just said _Why you don't need to know who i am. You should be concerned by what's going to happen to you my dear .._ He stepped closer to me and ran his fingers across my face, down my neck and lower.."

I stopped. I started to feel everything i felt that night.

"I couldn't move away.. when i looked into his eyes and saw that they were pitch black.. I knew he was just like the rest of you .. I asked him what he was going to do to me and he said _Darling I'm not doing anything .. They are_ .. and he pointed to the boys who were just a few feet away from me."

"I noticed that they looked dazed and unfocused. He said.. _Boys.. Do it.._ But when they moved closer to me, that guy stopped them and said .._a a a .. Let Aaron get the first go .. Oh how the boys will love this !! _He started laughing again, _Abbot being your first Little Kay bear !!"_ He said in my face then kissed me roughly."

I stopped and i turned to face Pogue. He had this pained expression on his face. Like someone was tearing his heart out.. A mixture of shock on realisation on his face

I guess he knew what was happening..

***

"Aaron Abbot came closer to me then smaked me across the face roughly making me fall to the ground. He pinned me down straddling me. He lift his shirt up and took it off then yanked his pants and boxers off. I tried moving him off .. i _swear_ i did. But i just couldn't move !" I said now sobbing.

"I whimpered and tried to push him off but he just grasped my wrists and held them above my head. I was trapped like some caged animal. I couldn't move.. His fingers were bone chillingly cold as he unbuckled my jeans and began to slip them down my hips.

I tried screaming but he just pressed down on me making me feel him. I screamed even more and he just ripped open my shirt. His breath was sickly hot when he came close to my neck and tried to kiss me. I struggled to get away, I fought him but it was no use.

Abbot was bigger and stronger than I was. I tried screaming but it was like my mouth couldn't form coherent sounds anymore. I did the only thing i could.. I shut my eyes tight whimpering more and bracing myself for what i knew was coming.

I felt him push his way into me. The pain blinded me and I felt myself go numb with each thrust into my body. His breath was hot and sticky against my face as he groaned in sick pleasure. I felt disgusted with him and myself. I just wanted it to all go away. The pain, the humiliation, the very thought of what was happening." I stopped, sobbing and reliving the memory.

"But that wasn't enough .. _He_ wasn't _enough_.. That _bastard_ was done with me then the _rest_ of his filthy scumbags took turns. They went once and twice and some of them even went thirds. I couldn't _do _anything but lie there, sobbing silently, hoping they could kill me instead." I stopped..

***

"They _raped_ me _over_ and _over_ and _over_ Pogue .. They left me bloody mess on the ground barely conscious. " I said sobbing hysterically now. I felt my lungs being crushed and everything closing in on me. I felt myself falling to my knees.. But i never hit the ground..

He caught me.. He was holding me.. I was holding him..

"_Oh my God_ .. Kaylan.. I .. _You_ .." He tried saying but his voice broke. A few moments later i could feel his tears along with mine falling.

He was crying.. I was crying .. Crying for everything..

The pain..

The violation..

The misunderstanding..

The two years spent in pain...

The whole nine yards..

"I was a _virgin_ Pogue .. I was saving myself for someone special.." I said after a few moments of quiet. " He took that away.."

"Why .." Was all he could muster through his tears.

"That guy said that i would hurt you and Caleb if you ever knew. He said that i would hurt more than anything he could do._ An emotional stab was so much rewarding to him than a physical stab_ he said. I somehow know that Kate and the rest had something to do with it.. One way or another.. "I whispered sobbing quietly and feeling drained.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything.." He said stroking my hair.

We stayed like that, on the floor for what seemed like alot. I felt my eyes dropping while resting my head on his shoulder. I guess he sensed that because the next thing i felt was Pogue carrying me and laying me down on his bed under the covers. He lay down behind me and put his hands around me pulling me flush against his body. My head lay one arm while the other gently stroked my hair. Just like before.

I felt his tears falling and his body shaking. I heard him whispering into my hair "It's all my fault .." Over and over.

I couldn't stand it. It wasn't his fault. He didn't do anything. They did..And he had to know that.

I did the only thing i could think of .. I slowly turned in his arms until i was facing him. My face was buried in the crook of his neck and my legs between his. I put my arms around him and pulled him to me until there was no space between us.

I felt him put his arms around me and hold me tightly. He inhaled deeply as i had done before. Reacquainting myself with the scent that so Pogue..

We layed like that for a while. Each savoring the feel of the other until finaly sleep claimed us our tears falling silently ..

* * *

**Soo .. What do you think ?? i REALLY hope u liked it !!**

**I feel that this is an emotional chapter and i wanted u guys to feel that too.. I hope this clears up some stuff some of you were wondering about .. There's more to come but i really wand to know how you all feel and if i did a good job .. It would mean the world to me ..**

**ReViEw !!!**


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